Albert Einstein is Abashed.

Perspective 1:  Albert Einstein

Albert Einstein's gray hair shot up in a static frazzle when he heard the door open.  "Vat should I do?" he muttered to himself as he frantically gathered the papers he had been perusing--failed math tests from his school years back in Germany.  "Nein!" he shouted.  "Nein, nein, nein!  Zere is no vay I can move fast enough to hide zese papers!  My own theory of relativity prevents zat!"  In a flurry of movement, Einstein threw his failed math tests behind his flower patterned sofa and smoothed down his hair as he heard the door into the antebellum open.  At that moment he noticed a paper that he had missed, 10 feet away from him lying on the ground.  "Oh no no!" he exclaimed.  "I dearly hope that it is not Herr Oppenheimer at my door!  If he vas to see zis I vould never see the end of it!"  As he said this, Einstein heard the footsteps getting closer and closer to his last line of protection--the living room door.  Realizing that his doom was near his widely acclaimed hair once again shot up.  "Quantum Physics?" he recited in his head, "No. Zat vill not vork.  Radiation?  Nein, nein.  Antimatter?  I have not enough of it.  Curses!  I have no recourse!  I vill have to return to the motherland if Herr Oppenheimer sees zis!"  As Einstein processed that last thought the door opened and a sudden vacuum of air swept the paper off the ground right towards the face of the approaching man, who was indeed the infamous Oppenheimer.


Perspective 2:  J. Robert Oppenheimer

I opened my good pal Einstein's door at around twelve o'clock in the hopes that we could perhaps discuss the Manhattan Project over tea.  As his Volkswagon Buggy Car was still sitting inert in his garage I came to the logical conclusion that he was home.  And since among physicists we all know how much Albert hates to be disturbed when he is pondering the workings of the universe, I decided to let myself in quietly to see what he was up to. Out of my interest in the Bayard Ratio that he was researching at the time, I tiptoed to his interior door in the hopes that he would not be awakened from his deep introspective physics trance.  I waited for a few seconds to see if he had noticed my not minimal presence but soon remembered that I was J. Robert Oppenheimer, the greatest physician on the planet, and strode inside.  When I opened the door, a blast of wind hit me in the face along with a crinkled, moth ball smelling paper.  "Maybe this is Al's theory of Bosun Quark-Pathing/Proton Motives"  I thought, "I guess I'll take a quick peek to revise it for him!"  As I reached my hand up to my face to remove the paper from my facade, Einstein flew at me--head first!--and we tumbled to the ground.  When we were untangled I saw Al chewing the paper up in his mouth, and quickly swallowing before he looked over at me and suggested we have some tea and discuss the Manhattan Project.