My dear readers, I am ashamed to admit this, but it is something that I must do, if I am to continue claiming the virtues of Integrity, Honor, and Scholarship. I have erred. In my conceit, I have fallen to the deadly sin of Hypocrisy. Yes, readers, it is as you suspect. The Jonas Brothers. I now offer you my heartfelt apologies for that pig on a stick treatise that I so un-thoughtfully, nay, so narrow-mindedly, put upon these pages.
Besides being poorly written, its poorly written words and its poorly written sentences conveyed poorly conceived notions. The lesser of you may have not understood it, but in complimenting them, I was mocking their looks! Looking back at it now, I see that I had no right, and no excuse for doing that. Readers, I was a massive, river dwelling, spinach eating hypocrite.
This month, this no-shave November that we find ourselves living in, I looked into the mirror and saw my own moustache for what it truly was. It was, to be frank, pathetic. In fact, it reminded me of the Jonas Brothers. I who had mocked them for their "wispy moustaches" shared an equal, or even lesser one! Struck by this apocalyptic epiphany I looked upwards towards my hair. It shocked me to see that it was the same unruly dark brown hair that I had criticized!
To put it simply, readers, I found myself at the same level as the Jonas Brothers whom I had so ruthlessly ripped apart. Wait a minute...let me put on these Aviators, this dark leather jacket, and... mascara on my eyebrows...OK. Woah, what is this? Am I... a Jonas?
I RESENT YOU.
ReplyDeleteBECAUSE I CANNOT COMMENT ON YOUR STREAM OF CONCIOUSNESS. AND YOU ARE NOT PRETTY. HA. IT SHOULD MAKE YOU FEEL BAD. But not really, because I'm not a terrible person, and I didn't mean terrible things when I said it the first time. USUALLY GUYS DON'T EVEN LIKE BEING CALLED PRETTY. Maybe I should train myself into thinking that you are pretty just to make you feel better. SEE, I'M A GOOD PERSON, GEEZ.
And your plan failed, I WILL CONTINUE TO JUST WRITE RANDOM COMMENTS BECAUSE I AM ENRAGED LIKE WHOA. And my posts are vastly caps. I WILL ABSOLUTELY REGRET COMMENTING LIKE THIS. THIS IS YOUR FAULT.
I resent you for multiple reasons now.
If I could, I'd be commenting on your stream of consciousness that's glowing in green at the top of the page. But there's no comment thingy under it. Therefore:
ReplyDelete@_@
Are you kidding me Matt?
ReplyDeleteHaha @ Rick. But seriously...what the heck Matt? :P
ReplyDelete