A Simple Dialogue

"Attention all citizens.  Attention all citizens." Mourned the klaxon joyfully.  "This is not a test.  This is a national emergency.  I repeat.  This is not a test.  This is not a test."

"What?!!" Exclaimed Municipal Trout, melancholically.  "Are my ears mistaken, or did that klaxon sitting on my mailbox just tell me that this is not a test?"

"I did say that, my dear sir.  You know that I can hear you, so please address me as if I was a real, living person, you heartless jerk." quoth the klaxon, in tones so dulcet that angels would have fallen from heaven just to hear them.

Municipal Trout, suffice it to say, received this in a most unflattering manner.  "I say!  Did you really call me a jerk in that voice that could personify the winter, the summer, the moon, the autumn and the spring at the same time?  Because if you did, I'd have to take a sort of pessimistic offense." Trout victoriously retorted.

"You lack class." Complimented the klaxon.  "You plebes are all alike.  Why, if I was your wife, I would leave you for a sea cucumber in the blink of a fruit fly's eye!  And you know what?  If I was so unfortunate as to be your offspring, I would wrap my umbili....ackkkk! bzzt........bzzt........bzzt."

And thats when the zombies came.